the narcissism of victoria anderson

So, there I was... hanging out with my hubby on the island of Curacao for a quick trip to the Caribbean to take care of a little work and a lot of play. The sun was shining. The air was warm and inviting. The scenery was beautiful. Surely, this was the place for "movie star" Victoria to come out in her zebra print swimwear and rock her husband's world as she sported her Jackie Kennedy sunglasses and snazzy, studded sandals.

Yes, I was ready to look all fi-yan (fine) in my wild one piece swimsuit and sarong. Working it. Owning it. Being the "super model" that I knew I was... Ahem. Ok, maybe not. But for some reason, during this trip, I thought so. For my waistline was a little skinnier and I was feeling a little sassier, if you will. And wasn't I just so cosmopolitan to be traveling to the beach? Yes, this was going to be the place where I would be the trend setter... the fashionista... the "IT" girl! Look out Curacao, here comes Victoria!

Poor Chuck. All he wanted to do was go eat lunch and swim in our hotel's fancy pool, but what he got was THE DIVA who's vanity required much time, preparation and attention.

Ohhh, but it would be worth it! (At least that's what I kept telling myself.)

So, alone in a hotel bathroom illuminated by florescent lights, I spent an hour and a half fixing myself up. I curled my hair. I shaved my legs. I painted my nails... all while Chuck patiently waited for me to join him outside.

Then, after my husband was about ready to send a search party in to find me, I made my swimsuit debut. BAM! That's right... BAM! Eat your heart out world. Check out your woman, Honeyman! I... (could I make the capitalization in that "I" any bigger?)... I had arrived.

My husband (who clearly could not contain his enthusiasm and gratefulness for all the work I put into my hair) smiled, rolled his eyes, and playfully said, "Glad you could make it."

Oh, Chuck. He's such a silly.

Then I caught a glimpse of my hair in the reflection of a nearby window... WHAT? In less than five minutes, my perfectly feathered hair-do had flattened into a hair-don't. Oh my, this island is a little more humid than I anticipated. Hmmm, I'll just say that it was the look I was going for... yeah, the flat hair look. OK, now back in the zone... Yes, I'm soooooo fine. I'm all that and a bag of potato chips. Check me out, Hubby Dudeman. Aren't you glad you brought this hot Mamacita with you? Mmmmmm hmmmm.

Then Chuck (clearly overwhelmed by his "rockstar" wife) calmly made his way over to kiss me to whisper what I could only assume would be something sweet and complimentary in my ear...

"Vic, your bathing suit has a ripped hole in the butt."

WHAT?

Embarrassed, I scrambled myself together and ran as fast as I could to the nearest public restroom. Sure enough, Chuck was right. I had managed to snag the delicate fabric of my zebraliciousness and was now showcasing a 1/2 inch hole on my nether region! (No wonder they call it the Netherland Antillies.) My left "cheek" was exposed in a very obvious "glamor don't" fashion. (Bad fashion!)

It finally dawned on me that I was not the starlet that I had hoped to be. In fact, I was quickly turning into a flat haired raccoon (my mascara had started to run) with a predominant hole on her behind! Yes, ladies... THIS was The Devoted Woman in all her glory. I had become too big for my britches and the Lord had express delivered a homemade humble pie to my space ship door just to bring me back down to earth.

We've all been there. We've all puffed up our ego's so much that we end up creating an image of ourselves that is inaccurate. We metaphorically climb high on our pedestals and convince ourselves that we are the bee's knees... that we are more important, more interesting, more worthy than those around us. But the truth of the matter is this, only Jesus is worthy... not us! In fact, Jesus wants us to climb down from our perch and then kneel. He teaches us that servanthood is more important than glory. That humility outweighs selfishness.

Paul says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” As Christians, we are to be modest and humble (Colossians 3:12), and live in submission to God (1 Peter 5:5; James 4:7), and to love one another with all lowliness and meekness and long-suffering, always forbearing one another in love and endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:2-3).

I can honestly say that I did not have any of these verses in mind while visiting Curacao. I didn't care how long poor Chuck had waited outside for me, wondering when we could actually start vacationing together. No. I was clearly more concerned about receiving my husband's attention rather than giving him mine. Certainly, God needed to stop the madness of my psychotic "ME" moment and did so by wilting my ego (and my hair). You see, I forgot that humility sees the best traits in others and the lowliest traits in one's self. It does not envy the graces or gifts of others, but rejoices in them. It does not wish to steal away moments by turning the attention to one's self. Rather it allows heads to turn to Jesus. The truly humble woman seeks to serve others... not to narcissistically seek all the attention for herself.

Sadly, for a short while on this vacation, I was a self-absorbed prima donna in need of an attitude adjustment. I considered myself the center of the universe and forgot about making the man I love my top priority. Thankfully, God would not have it, and quickly removed me from my make-shift throne.

I left the public restroom that day with a different attitude than when I had entered. I checked my ego at the door and was back to the old Victoria. Broken and repentant of my selfishness. Humored by the holy lesson (literally) that God had chosen to teach me while far from home. Now, I was committed to stop focusing on myself and start serving... start loving my man.

No more would I expect Chuck to spend his vacation shielding me from the paparazzi. No more would he need to worry about holding all my calls from the media frenzy of reporters. No more would we spend all our time dewy-eyed and completely infatuation with MY presence as I signed autographs and ate bon bons. (ROFL - yes, I'm kidding!) No, I'd rather we both save all glory and honor exclusively for Jesus. I'd rather we pause to appreciate God's creation and marvel oceanside at His beautiful handiwork. Yes, I'd rather my husband and I spend our time together in both love and praise of our King!

Ladies, does the world revolve around you or God?
Do your efforts involve building up others or boasting for yourself?
Is your life about self or about service?
Is today about ________ (fill in your name).... or is today about Jesus?

Consider, are you making every effort to reflect God's holiness... or are you simply full of holes?

P.S. ON SALE NOW... One Used, Vented, Zebraliscious Swimsuit! LOL - just kidding. God is good. Love you all!

Blessings!

~Victoria

© The Devoted Woman | Victoria Anderson